My miracle

November 30, 2012

Hello dear friends!

I am so sorry that I have neglected this little blog, but I have been happily lost in baby land and don’t want to come back to earth again.

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Our sweet son was born at home on Sunday the 18th promptly at 5:30am after a very short but intense labor. The first four nights after he arrived I could hardly sleep because I just wanted to lay there and look at his beautiful little face. It is hard for me to type this post actually without crying, (partially due to the lack of sleep, not to mention the hormones still raging).

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I cry because when I look at him I see the little person I thought I would never hold. He’s a miracle and what that means to me just wells up inside every time I look at his sweet little face – What a gift! There are things in life that each one of us goes through I believe, that either make us stronger in faith and cause us to realize who we are and our purpose in life. There are trials and pathways that we have to walk through that lead us through severe pain and loss…we either run away  and loose ourselves or learn to accept so that it will make us people of faith and not sight. The long trial of being without a child in our marriage was so severe at times I could feel it almost physically crushing my spirit. We hoped for a child for around 4 years (we have been married 7.5). We experieneced a loss of a child three years ago and pretty much gave up hope of having a child biologically. Yet in all of the pain, late nights of tears and conversations with Doctors, Naturopaths, specialists, and friends, we still could see the thin thread of God’s sustaining grace and good plan for our lives, even in the midst of infertility and miscarriage.  And for this I am profoundly thankful. There were times where we had to hold the other person up, where one of us had lost faith but never did we both loose faith at the same time.

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So when I look at our little son who is half Torrey (more like all Torrey) and half me, I still can’t hold back the heart swells and tears of joy, and I never want to ever loose this feeling. He is God’s little miracle to us..a sign to us of God’s grace.  A confirmation for me that God does not crush a bruised reed or blow out a smoldering wick.  He gently leads those with young. I know friends who have been told they can never have babies. I have friends that have tried longer and harder than we ever did, dear people I know that have walked through countless miscarriages and years of treatment only to wind up at the same place they started. The mysteries of life and of God I can not comprehend. The paths that each of us are on, I can not understand. But I have found these friends to be the truest and most genuine of hearts. The tide of pain has given them a tenderness and understanding of the world that can only be found in those beautiful souls of strength and valor.

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Therefore I want to end this very real post (this is not my particular fashion to spill my guts over the internet) with a declaration of thanks.

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I am thankful for last 4 years. They gave me long-suffering, deep inner peace, and a perseverance of faith.

I am thankful for loss.  It has put a foundation under my feet.  It has taught me what true gain really is.

I am thankful for pain. It has taught me what true joy looks like.

I am thankful for God. The Sustainer and Giver of every good thing.

I am thankful for Torrey, who never lost hope, the comforter of my heart.

And last but not least…I am thankful for Jackson, my little miracle.

  • rebekah j.

    this definitely made me tear up. it’s humbling to know so much of your story and to see how faithful He’s provided the grace for all the darker days. i can’t tell you how much i respect you for how you’ve lived the last few years, or how happy i am for the present! all things beautiful <3

  • Erin Mercill

    Carrie, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart. I cannot imagine what the years waiting were like but I am so happy for you both.

  • Didi K

    I am totally tearing up, Carrie!!

    Seeing your baby gives me hope… :) I love you almost b-day buddy!! I am SO SO SO SO SO happy God sent you a healthy baby!! :D

    ok, is it still tearing UP when they are rolling down my face? :-p :-)

  • Chara

    Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

  • Kelly

    This is truly a miracle indeed and it was not by chance or coincidence that you are able to touch the hearts of many with this story that is such a representation of God’s love. I am soo thankful to be able to share in your journey my kindred friend.

  • Chris and Marcy

    That is so beautiful, Carrie! Enjoy your first Christmas with your little one!

  • Melissa

    Lovely, friend. So pure. So sweet. So real. He is faithful and beautiful and worthy of our praise. And he is beautiful too (smiles). xoxo, me

  • Lauren B

    I love this so much. And I love your family. God has taken your story and molded it into one that glorifies Him so perfectly. He works miracles and is always faithful. Love you!!

  • Myrna Hyman

    What a happy ending and a beautiful beginning for the Moe family. You have touched everyone’s heart with your story, and have given hope to others going through hardships; whatever they may be.
    I wish the three of you joy, happiness and much love this holiday season and for your lifetime. Jackson Henry is absolutely precious!
    Miss you very much….love ya!
    Myrna

  • Lisa Adams

    I am so happy for you … thank you for sharing this testimony of faith. Beautiful.

  • sarah danaher

    I love you, sweet friend, and rejoice with you in God’s kind gift to you and Torrey! xo

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